The Addams family come to hogwarts
by crocket
Summary: Harry is an Addams. This was just a short story and most likerly a one off but I had to amny ask for more of it. I think it will end up m rateing but not yet. Thank you for your interest.
1. Chapter 1

**HARRY POTTER ADDAMS**

I own nothing not Harry or the Adams family.

On a personal note some one please make him stop, (Points invisible friend) I just want to finish my other story's but he, (points at offending invisible person) keeps giving me plot bunny's in my sleep.

As such here is another one

The sorting was over and Harry Potter had not turned up Albus Dumbledore, (a Santa wannabe But with out the cookie problem, His was lemon drops and they were not as fatting) sighed to himself he had not only hoped but needed Harry to be here he had a nice little set up where Quirrell was now host to Tom (Aka he who must not be named (due to copyright laws) The dark lord, and Lord Voldemort) he had a priceless artefact from his friend that was a good bait and he even went out his way to make sure if Harry did turn up for his stuff in Diagon Alley Hagrid,(Aka the worst secret holder ever, he who thinks deadly animals are cute, maker of the ! Most terrible rock cakes ever) who could let slip that he had just picked up something for Dumbledore and start the whole process of.

His musing and the shudder of what would happen if Harry did not turn up(Damn prophecy. I am the greatest Wizard since Merlin) stopped when the Hall doors were flung open. A fog started to creep into the Hall and the Hufflepuffs and Gryffindor's who were closest started to bum shuffle further away from the door.

5 figures could be seen in the fog as it settled into a carpet maybe a foot thick on the floor swirling and sending out tendrils in all directions like a Squid trying to find some prey. An unlucky Hufflepuff found out just how cold and tenacious the fog was when it touched her cloak ,and it started to freeze as she tried to pull away the fog sent another tentacle and tried to get her foot, but only managed to get her heel (that shattered after it was frozen when she managed to get away) her cloak hem hit the table as she tried to get on it and shattered like a fine crystal glass hitting a cold hard floor.

She fainted and was pulled more into the middle of the table by a friend.

He noticed the two adults first.

The women was tall maybe 6ft or more she had long jet black hair that hung like a silk curtain around a Hurst, (why the hell that image came into my mind I will never know, thought Dumbledore) But her hair looked so silk like and was long past her shoulders and maybe down to her elbows. It did not cover her face,one that had a look of total disdain on it (She makes Narcissa Malfoy look totally happy. Dumbledore thought to himself not even Lucius can look that disdainful)her hands were inside her long black dresses arms and she seemed glide (He could see no movement in her skirt were her legs were,at this he blushed and was glad he had a beard)

Next was the man dressed in a suit. (and what a suit I must have one made purple and red stripes with a Bright green tie, what a dress sense,wonder who his tailor is?)

He was maybe a good 6 inches taller than her with a cigar in one side of his mouth (presumable so he could grin with the other side) he had a chearpy look (like a banker about to foreclose on an orphanage. Why do I keep getting these images in my mind?)

Next he noticed the three children the first seemed rather rumbustious and was playing with a sword that looked a lot like the one from the suit of armour in the hallway. He was rotund (fat) but seemed in good health he had piggy eyes and Dumbledore wished he had noticed that because now he had to check out the child's parents? Eyes.

The man's were alight with some inner fire but the women's bore into him it was like looking into a coal mine while inside of it and still being unable to stop your feet from moving forward even though you did not know if there was a 200ft drop just in-front of you or not.

He tried but she smiled and then he was able to blink(can snakes blink? What they hell is it with these images in my mind) he got back to the boy who some how was now sitting by the fat friar and they seemed to be telling each other jokes. (how long was we staring at each other

? he mused)

He moved his head to the other two and came to rest on the girl she was about the same age as the other two and carried a headless doll in her hands (OK so not weird at all) She seemed to be in clothes that he remembered in his youth as ones worn by a girl when she had died.

He smiled to himself "laying out clothes" as they were called her hair was as dark as her mothers then he head lifted and he was once again stuck in a gaze he desperately did not want to be in.

A smile came to her mouth (well a each corner of her mouth moved up a tiny bit) and he found he could move again. Pigtails her hair was in pigtails. He finally finished his original thought.

He moved onto the last child and as he did the boys head came up. His hair was black as coal and seemed to be slicked down in a similar way as to the man. He wore a suit but this would not be out of place on an undertaker.

Then Dumbledore (who still had not got the hint) Looked into his eyes. "Hell-fire green hell-fire" was all Dumbledore could think of as he started to sweat.

The boys eyes seemed to glow brighter and Dumbledore found he was having trouble to breath. More sweat ran down his face and he started to feel faint.

The Man spoke up "Gomez Addams at your service this is my family my angel my reason to live the tick to my tock my wife Morticia. (she nodded her head by a very small degree) My first born and heir.

He pointed to the boy still laughing with the fat friar and who seemed to have forgotten he had a long sharp sword in his hand as he was swinging it about as he explained something to the friar (Hufflepuff students seemed to be sitting on the table not the benches) Pugsley Addams.

Then next we have my daughter she who will break many Hearts.

He was interrupted "no father I shall eat many hearts why break them? when they taste so much better whole."

Many blanched but did not think it was a good idea to say this sounded bad very bad.

"Sorry my child you are correct. As she said she will partake of many Hearts. Wednesday Addams.

Last and by no means least my adopted son but still my son and the reason we are here Harry Potter Addams."

A murmur went through the hall was it possible was this the 'boy who lived' was this spawn of a demon (even if he was adopted)How?

The Headmaster stood.

" Am I to understand this child(he points to Harry) was known as Harry Potter before you adopted him?"

Gomez smiled (How the hell has he 6 very sharp and most defiantly visible canine teeth. Thought Dumbledore)

"My good man you are quite correct but you seem to have forgotten your manners I have introduced us but you failed to do the same courtesy. If this is the level of manners you have what hope have I my child shall not be corrupted into laziness and bad manners?"

Dumbledore did not like the sound of this.

" I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore – Son of Percival and Kendra Dumbledore, brother of Aberforth and Ariana Dumbledore, Hogwarts Headmaster , Order of Merlin First Class, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot." he took a breath ( I really could do with a shorter name) then he introduced his staff.

"Now as I was saying before I was ."

Gomez spoke up "Reminded of your manners?"

"I was going to say interrupted, but you are correct. (how the hell was he a 150 year old man feeling like he was 6 again and caught pinching his mums muffins) Is this child(again he points to Harry)" Again he was interrupted by the same person.

"See Morticia I knew we should have took them to Salem."

Morticia spoke "Mr Dumbledore were you never told it was rude to point?"

Her voice was like an angels (one of the fallen angels. Full of venom and disdain).

Dumbledore blanched and looked at his hand and the guilty finger.

He bowed "Again I must apologise it seems."

The Addams family looked at him all had one eyebrow raised.

"well we are waiting" Gomez said

Dumbledore blanched "Okaay {_sounding like a petulant child_} I am sorry for pointing I know it was rude and will not do it again."

To all he sounded very much like a 6 year old who had got caught stealing fresh cooked muffins.

The whole devil family had a smile on their faces (well all had at least one corner of their mouths turned up. He preferred to think of it as a smile).

" Was the child you identified as Harry Potter Addams originally know just as Harry Potter?"

Gomez smiled "why yes old bean he was Some friend of the family came over here was told by another friend about Harry and we were sent for a simple adoption later and we had a new child"

He smiled "Petunia Durlsly was most happy with the arrangement and the £40,000 to cover any legal fees after we had done. Though what legal stuff I do not know? as I am the Head of the family and a Barrister in my own right."

To many it was obvious she had sold Harry to these people. (many wanted to think freaks but as soon as the letter f appeared in their mind a head would swivel and they would be looking at an Addams.)

The Headmaster shook his head why the hell was it so damn complicated.

"So do you wish Harry to learn here it is one." He was about to say the most premier schools of magic but for some reason he knew this would be looked into and confirmed.

"That his parents." he blanched at the looks directed at him "His birth Parents I should say came to." He let out a breath.

"We shall let him have a trial time here if it is not up to standards then he shall leave for a better school."

The headmaster nodded once to Gomez.

" Harry needs to be sorted into a house. If he could just take a seat here and we will place the sorting hat on his head. This will determine what house is best for him."

Morticia and Gomez nodded and Harry started his walk to the sorting stool.

Morticia spoke up before Harry sat down. "My son will not be sitting on a milking stool."

She waved her hand and the stool transformed it grew for legs each one looking like some sort of reptiles leg. Then it turned as black as obsidian arms grew out of it and twisted till they also looked like some reptiles legs but this time the claws were face up and open as if a person was holding their hand out to receive something (probably a still beating Heart. Thought Albus. "were the hell do I get these images from") A back rose up and was covered in scroll work it was topped by a skull on each side off the skull was a scythe with a hand holding it.

Draco who was quite close to it lost control of his bladder he would be pleased to know he was not the only one. He knocked over his drink so he could blame that later.

Harry sat down in the know very impressive sorting stool (throne of death).

Professor McGonagall came forward and was shocked to feel her knees were knocking. She placed the sorting hat on Harry's head and waited.

The hat spoke up "He has mind shields they are to strong for me to penetrate."

Gomez spoke up "Of course he does why would we leave any of our family defenceless in any way surely all responsible parents do all they can to protect their loved ones??"

The hat spoke "Mr Potter would you mind dropping your shields a bit. I just need to see what your character is like"

Gomez spoke up "Unimpeachable as is any Addams." He seemed most put out with this slur against his name.

The hat spoke again " I meant no disrespect I just need to see what sort of person he is. Slytherin are known for cunning Hufflepuff for loyalty Ravenclaw for studying Gryffindor for being brave. This is just a basic of what each house stands for as many children have all these attributes but one will stand out more than the others. Again I must apologise as I forgot you was not here for the sorting song that would have explained this"

Gomez smiled "Think nothing of it old chap after all I think I would be in Hufflepuff as my loyalty to my family is unwavering."

The Hat smiled "I would have to agree."

Harry looked at his parents they gave him a nod. "I shall keep any secrets locked away from you do not try and get into locked rooms you will not like the results"

The hat gulped but thanked him.

The hat found itself in an old mansion and a solid looking Harry standing their "Welcome to my mind. Please look around but do remember my warning." with that Harry faded from view.

The hat went to the first door and opened it inside the entity know as the sorting hat wished it could throw up.

Tom riddle was on a rack he was covered in cuts and scars his eyes were open and he was screaming.

He seemed to notice the door open and started to beg "Please help me get me from this hell I swear I will be good please help me." Tears of blood ran down his face.

"What are you?" the hat spoke and was surprised when Riddle answered.

"I killed his family and somehow a part of my soul got stuck in him. They they taught him how to contain me and when they found out who I was they come in here and take turns torturing me all the time saying 'this is what you get for messing with family' please help me or at least loosen the rack."

The hat stepped out of the room and shut the door fast. "Oh god what had Dumbledore let into his school"

The next room showed Harry and his family learning about swordsmanship. "No son stab for the Heart only when you want to end their suffering now try again here go for the Stomach it will make there stomach acids eat them from the inside out."

The hat left Quickly each room had some horror and the hat did not want this person(it decided it was not a good idea to even think a bad thought here) Harry appeared again "now my turn to see if this school deserves me or not?"

The hat felt a presence in it something was working it's way through him "well are you not going to show me around or at least introduce yourself?"

The hat was shocked Potter no Addams was in him like he went into others. It tried to form a thought but was to shocked.

Harry's "OK then I shall look around myself."

Bit deep into the hat leaving a sense of dread.

"Harry looked through the Hats Memory's and followed his own family tree back to one Godric Gryffindor.

Something hit his head harry reached under the hat and to the amazement of all pulled out a jewel encrusted deadly looking sword with a stylish Griffon motive.

Quirrell was not happy his master had been looking for that sword for years and now this thing just pulls it from the hat like a magician pulling a rabbit from one.

Dumbledore also was not happy this in front of every one proved Harry's heritage (one he hoped to keep hidden so no one found out about his little spending habits)

"Lord Gryffindor I think only Gryffindor will suit you"

There was a stunned silence no one clapped as Harry took the hat of his head and handed it to a shocked McGonagall and walked away.

The hat sighed in relief by taking the sword he could be sorted and had no reason to be in contact with the hat (The hat was more than happy with this).

The sorting stool returned to its former look.

Harry went and stood at the head of Gryffindor's table the sword held at his side. He looked behind him and almost guiltily the sorting Stool floated up-to and behind him again transforming into a throne.

Harry sat. "Wednesday will you join me for a meal?"

The Girl glided across to the other end of the table and looked behind her.

The fog came and rose around her it changed into a solid black mass then altered to look like Harry's 'chair' it was smaller and instead of a hand holding a scythe on each corner hers had a guillotine. Her skull also had a knife through it.

The Addams parents smiled "It seems we are not wanted shall we go?"

No one saw them move but the 3 Addams children were next to their parents before anyone could blink.

"Gomez smiled "we were having fun children go back to what you were doing I am sure the headmaster will not mind"

He looked at the shocked headmaster who could only nod. "See he does not care maybe you two should be sorted as well?"

The hat spoke up "Pugsley Addams Hufflepuff ,Wednesday Addams Gryffindor. If you are interested?"

"Will we need to get twigs like Harry?" spoke up Wednesday.

"I am afraid so as they seem so backwards to us my dear" spoke up Morticia.

"Harry spoke up "I shall lend them mine till we can get them ones of their own."

They bode farewell to their parents and went and sat back down

The Addams family had arrived at Hogwarts.

Is it worth posting is it worth doing more chapters opinions welcome. Also would like corrections I hope I am getting better with punctuations but help is appreciated. Thanks for help I have received.


	2. Chapter 2

**Harry Addams Part 2**

I do not own either Harry Potter or the Addams family.

There was some nervous discussions going on in all the common rooms Harry Potter was at Hogwarts but he was plain scary.

Professor McGonagal looked at Wednesday Addams and shivered if Snape's hair was black then heaven knows what her eye colour would be called. Jet, Coal, wormhole black maybe?

"Miss Addams you and your brother will need a wand an"

Wednesday looked at her and clicked her fingers a chair appeared behind her and another behind Harry.

This display of wandless magic was disconcerting to say the least. " And your other school stuff for each lesson. Books, uniform, potion ingredients and cauldrons."

Wednesday just sat and looked at her {s this what a mouse feels when a cat is playing with it?} She wondered.

Harry sat there as if carved from stone. So unlike his mother or his father. She thought.

" I do not need a wand."

McGonagal shivered her voice was sweet but combined with her look and her eyes and it was distracting no that was to nice a word disturbing yes definitely disturbing.

She tried again "Wandless magic is good and very useful but some spells are easier with a wand and you are less likely to drain yourself with a wand to boost your skills."

Then she said something that made it hard for her to sleep that night.

"Your brother Harry has a wand and I am sure when he uses it he will see a big difference. After all it is the wand that chooses the wizard."

Harry grinned "Not in my case, in my case a wizard decided to show up unannounced and make.... demands."

He spun the wand around his fingers the way some people spin a coin.

"We decided he no longer needed a wand and I don't think he can do magic any-more."

McGonagall gulped

"Yes messing with family is certainly a way to stop needing magic sticks." Harry smiled "or hands even."

McGonagall felt feint "So you have never been measured for a wand either Harry?"

"No."

" I- I -I -I think it would be best if me you your sister and brother went and got all the school stuff on Saturday, then if you have forgotten anyt..."

She stopped they were both looking at her as if she was a mouse or even as if she was a meal.

"We do not forgot anything ever." Wednesday said. "Just ask Simon Renaldo. He thought we had forgot when he insulted us when we were 4 years old but he found out last week we hadn't as we needed to finish any unfinished business before we came here."

Harry smiled "yes a wand would be useless to him as well."

McGonagall felt really ill.

"OK so on Saturday we will go to Diagon Ally and get all the things Wednesday and Pugsley need and get you a proper wand." She turned and tried to leave in a hurried but dignified manner.

Harry smiled at Wednesday. They stood and the chairs vanished. Neither made a move or finger click.

It was a well... bored would be the best description pair who made their way to there beds.

The next morning something stupid happened. The Twins had decided to play a prank on Wednesday as they felt she was to uptight. Many thought it was because they had a death wish others thought they did it as they were Gryffindor's head bully's and wanted to stop any competition before it began.

All agreed it was a bloody stupid thing to do.

They had offered her a sweet and she had took it, she had even warned them that if it was in any way tampered with there would be issues.

The sweet tasted OK to an idiot but to Wednesday she knew it was tampered with. She rose one eyebrow the universal sign this better be OK.

The potion in the sweet was timed delayed. The twins told everyone to make sure be at breakfast.

**BREAKFAST**

Wednesday was not amused harry was not amused and Pugsley he was well you can guess yes that's right not amused.

Wednesday had been attacked a viscous attack for no reason.

Her hair was instead of its normal midnight or better yet in Harry's mind {Blackhole, black hair} it was now bright pink her pony tails were now a pair of waving bunny ears.

To make it worse the transformation had happened in the great hall at breakfast in front of every one.

One minute she had been sipping tea while waiting for harry to finish his meal next this.

Someone was going to pay.

Harry stood up and turned to the Professors "well what are you going to do about this assault on my sister. His voice was calm but his eyes they were like watching emerald flames dancing around consuming the room.

The headmaster sighed "Harry it is just a prank do not get to exited."

Snape had to put his moneys worth in as well.

"Why I think it is a big improvement.... after all your father and his friends all liked to prank people as well."

Harry knew he would have to look into this comment.

Harry,, smiled Pugsley, smiled and Wednesday reached up and pulled a knife from... no where. "So we are perfectly able to return this prank (she spat the word) with one of our own.

"Very well but on your own graves be it." She turned and nodded to her siblings.

The Addams got up and left the hall to sounds of laughter, there was however one sound they did filter out amongst the braying jackasses, the sound of Fred Weasley congratulating his brother and George Weasley asking if they should be worried at the no they little icky firsties.

Harry turned and smiled at them A smile usually used by psychopaths or dogs, one poor student nearly went into shock as a traumatic experience of opening a gate and seeing a {smiling} Jack Russell came to his mind, the Russell that seemed to have fangs and a lot of very white teeth, just like the Addams girl, the Jack Russell that tried to go for his throat but couldn't jump high enough but could reach another male only area. The poor child just fainted.

"We know who to prank now. So all that remains is how much humiliation they will suffer." With that they left.

Professor McGonagall caught up with them as they reached the great doors leading outside. "Mister and Miss Addams." Looking at Pugsley and Wednesday Addams. "If it is OK with you? I think we should go to Diagon Alley and get you two a wand and other school necessity's."

Harry smiled " you have been added as well."

She was confused "added ,added to what?"

Wednesday smiled "you will find out ." Pugsley spoke up "Harry, you had best come as well, There is still stuff you need."

Harry nodded and they carried on walking.

McGonagall was confused and it took her a few minutes of running to catch up with them. "Where are you going? Didn't you hear we are going to Diagon Alley."

Harry shook his head "so young yet dementia already setting in. You said "if it was OK with us we would be going to Diagon Alley." We never said it was o.k."

She stood and took stock of the situation they were, correct she realised as she played it over in her mind.

"We will be ready in maybe.... 20 minutes ." They turned and carried on walking away.

They stopped and looked at the lake and smirked. When a giant tentacle appeared "perfect" was the only word Wednesday spoke.

"We are ready Professor."

She turned and looked at them. "Okay to the school gates then we will take a portakey from there."

**Sunday the morning after the prank**

The Headmaster and other professor's could not help but wonder why no students where at breakfast until a prefect came running in.

"Fred, George; the Lake, the Squid" gasping for breath before sinking to the floor unused to so much exercise as running 400 yards or so.

The professors, went outside and headed towards the large laughing crowed. A sense of dread spreading amongst them. As they made their way through to the front they were shocked at what they saw.

The giant squid, and the Mer folk, were smashing a giant clear ball (it was plastic but they had no idea)about as the squid hit it to the Mer folk, the Mer folk turned as one and hit the water with all their tail's at once sending the ball back.

The teachers saw that inside the ball were two red-headed children or to be more precise two naked red-headed children. "We need to do a summoning charm together. " said McGonagal.

Then the Addams appeared before them.

"I think not! This is a prank, you never interfered with the one done on Wednesday, so now you will not! interfere with one. Done in reply to the the culprits." Harry's tone was cold and emotionless.

They looked at Harry.

"20 points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff for endangering students!" Snape shot out. "20 more for back chatting a teacher!"

Harry, smiled his not so pleasant smile "moron " the one word came from Harry's mouth with obvious contempt, he carried on "to back chat would imply she had made a comment to me first, she was speaking to you ...professors, so as she did not speak to me their can be no case for back chat."

The professors, went for their wands and stopped, they searched themselves. "my wand " came from all their mouths nearly as one.

Harry smiled "we pranked you as well, I told you, you would be involved in the prank back . Yet I knew you would have to involve yourselves in our pranks unlike the Weasley one, so I have sent your wands on a little trip."

Snape fumed "give us our wands back now! "

Harry smiled "or what you will shake your hands at me, you will take points, all because of a prank?" he smiled " I think not"

The headmaster tried to appear unruffled in a calm voice he said "Harry return our wands please and get the twins back onto dry land and dressed."

Harry smiled "would love to but sadly." He smiled as he cast a sonorous on himself "its time for first lesson we best go not want to be late." With that they walked off many students following them and still laughing. Some even had cameras with them.

The headmaster shook his head and called for Fawkes "can you find my wand please?"

Fawkes flashed away and appeared in the bubble with the Weasley twins then seemed to be pecking at the twins bums.

"Oh god! they vanished them up the twins." McGonagall, Vectra, and Pomfrey fainted.

Fawkes appeared and did not look happy he gave the headmaster his wand back but noway! was he getting anyone else's.

When McGonagall came round she shook her head and remembered what had made her black out in the first place. She barely managed to hold her breakfast in.

"Here Minnie your wand." She looked at long time friend "Poppy, did they really?"

Poppy Pomfrey looked a bit green "yes and the headmaster had a hell of a time getting them out that bubble and our wands back. It seems the Merfolk and the Squid had." she winced "as Wednesday said it 'issues' with the twins."

Poppy handed her a potion. "It's an anti nauseous potion. You will need it I still feel like gagging every time I reach for my wand."

Professor McGonagall, instantly knew what her friend meant even with the potion she felt sick.

"The twins, are recovering they had to be washed several times as they lost control of their stomachs and their bowels and their bladders. Urr while inside that ball."

McGonagall, shivered then her eyes went wide and Poppy, handed her a basin. After an embarrassing few minutes were she emptied her stomach she wiped her mouth. "How?"

"It seems that as we never reprimanded the twins, The Addams family decided to prank them and as they said most the school found it very funny so how can it be assault or bullying?"

McGonagall, shook her head " I should have known after yesterday that this would not have gone unpunished." She shuddered and tried not to remember the shopping trip.

Well that's it for now hope you liked.

What happened on shopping trip will the twins be so stupid as to prank an Addams again well time and future chapters will tell.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own either Harry Potter or The Addams family I write for my own amusement.

**Harry Addams part three.**

The Addams, and professor McGonagall felt the rush or the portakey to the leaky cauldron. The Addams smirked as they looked around. Then moved off after their teacher.

McGonagall was a bit nervous she was alone with 3 students one of them The-Boy-Who-Lived, normally she would have no hesitation taking students shopping but in this case she had a premonition or shivers up and down her spine.

She may call Trelawney a fraud and that but at heart she was Scottish and the Scots were a superstitious bunch. Or maybe it was her- Women's intuition but either way she was unhappy.

Harry looked around and spoke "How much shall we be spending each?"

McGonagall said she guessed about 30 Galleons or so all depending on personal stuff they got.

"We should do a wonder around and then tote up what we need, before we go to the bank." Harry looked to the others to see if they agreed. An almost imperceptible nod was all he needed.

"Harry I have some mon..." McGonagall stopped.

"We are Addams we have money. Do not ever and we mean ever think we need pity or charity."

McGonagall felt herself take a step back as Pugsley gave her a scathing dressing down.

The normal wondering around and a quick tally was much to her relief surprisingly fast.

Then they noticed Knockturn alley.

She made to stop them by reaching for Wednesdays arm but a knife appeared at her jugular.

"No-one touches my sister." The voice was cold and hard, for once Harry was expressing an emotion and she had to be honest with herself it scared her.

She removed her hand slowly and tried not to gulp, she had a suspicion no not a suspicion she knew that knife was razor sharp.

"Th..." She tried but the knife scared her.

"If a place is forbidden then why were we not told before we got here?" The knife never moved.

She really wanted to look down and see a toy knife at her throat she wanted to see a smiling mischievous child she knew better than to look down.

Harry Spoke again "I am waiting for an answer!"

His tone could not be considered anything but scary.

"Could you please remo..." the knife vanished from her throat. "Thank you." She may have wanted to berate them but she in no way wanted them to retaliate like **that** again.

She looked down and saw all three children had expressionless faces again.

Wednesday spoke up "we will just come in the holidays, Mother and Father may come with us who knows?"

McGonagall blanched the {who knows?} unnerved her, was Wednesday implying that they would come alone? Without any adult supervision?

Images of some things for sale in Knockturn alley in the hands of the Addams made her go pale and break into a cold sweat.

Harry smiled and shook his head, " you think we would take some mere trinkets from here and use them at school, the fact this place has a bad reputation but is not of-limits per say."

Now she was scared was she that easy to see through?

" No you are not that easy to see through but as the Headmaster and Snape read student minds why should we not return the favour?"

She stared at harry " you can read my mind?"

He smiled "what is it you say over here – What's good for the Goose is good for the Gander?"

She was shocked.

Wednesday spoke "In a school run by people who care nothing for their charges, I would suspect the saying you should use is- do as I say not as I do."

Harry nodded conceding the point to his sister- "you are....... correct."

McGonagall needed some way to take control anything. "We can look down Knockturn but please do not touch anything. If you are interested in something ask me first. I will try and keep us all safe." She took a breath. "Please if anyone starts anything stay close to me. I would prefer that none of us go in there." She pointed to the alley, "but you are determined, I would at least like enough piece of mind to say that you had 1 adult with you."

The Addams smiled that little secret smile all close siblings and long time friends have. The one that says -**score** or even **result**.

The trip into the alley was one McGonagall would hope she could forget. "Please if anyone starts anything stay close to me. " It had sounded like good solid advice. Advice many would give to their charges, unless those charges were the Addams Family. She shuddered remembering far to much.

**Knockturn Ally **

They entered the Ally and Harry noticed the smells and signs of corruption. It made him blink the stodgy British Wizards with their stuck up views and they allowed this.

The first to meet an Addams was an old hag trying to sell cheap potions.

"Hello dearies would you like one my luck potions or even memory enhancement potions?"

Pugsley smiled " If they were any good why have you not used them to drag yourself out the gutter?"

All trace of civility vanished "Listen hea..."

Her eyes widened the two knives at her throat and one over her heart kind of ruined her rant.

"Leave!" It was only one word but the tone even from an 11 year old brooked no other reply than her turning tail and running away.

That was just the start.

McGonagall had felt an arm encircle her and a blade come to her throat. The stink of stale ale and whiskey hit her.

"Money now or she dies!"

The Addams turned and looked then smiled shrugged their shoulder and started to walk away.

McGonagall did as most witches in a bad position she forgot she was a witch and a animagus.

"Oi, were you think you going didn't you ear me?"

Pugsley turned and smiled "one less teacher in the world why would we care?"

The man was stumped, he could have just robbed McGonagall but he had a bit of an attitude sadly for him. "Well after I done with this one how about I take your money and nail you to the walls?"

Harry turned "you would harm my brother and sister if we don't comply with your demands?" He cocked one eyebrow.

The fool nodded "yer might sell your sister loads childless people want a daughter they can at some point marry of for a bit of cash, a few potions and memory charms and she soon think she is their daughter."

McGonagall was shocked and was about to struggle when a voice spoke to her- in **her** head. "Don't move"

Harry started to walk towards the man and reached into one of his pockets. The fool expected to see a wallet or money bag, he did not expect a water pistol.

He broke out laughing "a – a - a water pistol my god, I am so scared" and he carried on laughing.

Harry calmly took aim and squeezed the trigger.

The man stopped mid laugh.

"Professor you can move his arm and step away now." Harry carried on " He forgot water is one thing but we are wizards we have potions as well."

McGonagall moved her arm up and grabbed the scum's hand moving it and the knife away from her throat. She stepped away.

" Wednesday, he is all yours." harry moved over and pulled a surprised McGonagall away.

Wednesday grinned and walked forward some of the ally residents tried to watch without drawing to much notice.

" I am Wednesday Addams, you think a few potions would stop me from being an Addams?"

A " Bugger " was heard from the Alley.

" Well let me show **you** how **my** family deal with threats to family."

She held up her hand and a knife appeared in it "pin us to the wall. I think was what was planned for my brothers"

She lifted her other hand and the man floated into the air when he was 2 ft of the ground the knife flashed and - thud one of his feet was impaled while the blade seemed to have gone through his foot and into the brickwork, she moved her fingers apart, the man's legs spread her other hand held a new knife when it had appeared McGonagall had no idea.

McGonagall wanted to stop her but she found herself horrified but unable to interfere or speak. She watched as the would be mugger was crucified to the wall by knives. She hoped this was the extent of Wednesdays reprisal but it wasn't.

"Sell me?" she took a step forward "sell **me**?" She conjured a pair of step ladders and made her way to the top of them once she was chest height to him she shredded his shirt with yet another knife, It was so fast many wondered how she hadn't chopped him to shreds. McGonagall could see his skin was totally un- harmed.

She started to draw a pattern on his flesh with her knife. It seemed the knife was so sharp that little or no blood came out straight away. Once the intricate pattern was done she climbed down and smiled.

McGonagall hoped to all the powers that be she never was on the receiving end of a smile like that. She was unable to work out why that smile scared her hell it petrified her maybe it was not so much the mouth as they eyes.

Wednesday walked towards them and Harry laughed as he looked at the pattern.

" Wednesday, Is there some significance to that pattern?" McGonagall hated to show a lack of knowledge, but the way the other two were smiling unnerved her.

" Professor do you know what a splinch is?"

McGonagal was confused " Yes it is when a person tries to apparate and leaves a bit of themselves behind. Sometimes they...." She stopped.

Wednesday held up a hand and clicked her finger and thumb together. The pattern glowed then with a puff of smoke.

McGonagall was glad she was not he only one to throw up.

" Splinching can be forced to happen same as apparition, Portkeys are a sort of forced apparition, I just turned parts of his body into portkeys and other parts into destinations. Unlike regular splinching this is not so easy to reverse."

McGonagall tried not to look but it was impossible. The man if he could still be called that had legs instead of arms, arms instead of legs. His head was were his manhood should have been and facing the wrong way. Were his head should be was nothing his neck ended with a flat top.

Someone, whether stupid or just plain curious asked "where you put his wedding tackle?"

Wednesday looked and her eyes seemed to find the mystery speaker "Who said I moved it? Got to attach his head to something neck like. It just means now his nostrils have two uses instead of one."

McGonagall was shocked as she was led away by the Addams Family. They had gone maybe 50 yards when a voice called out "do you mind if I talk with ya?". They stopped as one except professor McGonagall they turned as one and the professor had to admit it was a bit unnerving. "No."

A dishevelled man stepped forward and nodded to them "Albert, Albert stone, at your disposal."

The Addams and the unnerved professor introduced themselves then Pugsley tilted his head to one side "werewolf?"

The man started then just nodded.

Harry spoke up "Don't you go to a sanctuary or a reserve you look terrible?"

The man looked confused "sanctuary, reserve don't know nuthing about any of them?"

Harry and the Addams shook their heads and turned "Professor?"

McGonagall had to collect her thoughts and realised they where asking her a question. "Mm the ministry frowns upon werewolf's and wants to control them rather than help them."

Albert was a bit stunned it seemed McGonagall was not baby talking these children but then again after what they had just done he could understand that.

Harry and the others shared a look and McGonagal instantly thought of the Weasley twins and the way they seemed to communicate with each other. "WE have business at Gringotts and some other places then we shall return be waiting by the alley entrance for us." There was no asking it was telling plain and simple. The wolf in him was furious but something in Harry's eye's seemed to even quell the beast within him. So he nodded.

The Addams wondered around and McGonagall was surprised at the number of people who came up to help them with advice like were potion shops were or where book shops were she was also shocked to find many things she herself was interested in and brought a transfiguration book she was sure was listed as being unpublished in over 200 years. Maybe Knockturn Alley did not deserve all of it's reputation.

This ends the first part of the Addams in knockturn Alley the next chapter will tell of their visit to Gringotts and some helpful meetings. 

Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Harry Potter or the Addams Family sadly this means I am skint.

**Harry Addams **

After their little escapade in Knockturn Alley The Addams and Professor McGonagall set of for the bank. As Soon as Pugsley saw the Goblins he burst into a run and much to anyone who's name was not Addams started talking in goblin. The Guard was shocked at first then seemed to be laughing wait McGonagall thought Goblins don't laugh. What the Hell had she got into now.

Pugsley was talking Rapidly and making extravagant hand gestures and every so often he shouted "BOOOM". McGonagall shook her head and Harry took pity on her or maybe he just wanted to get on with the day.

"Pugsley likes Goblins we have them over for dinner on occasion. They seem to share a love of blowing things up. I would imagine Pugsley is trying to find out where the nearest goblin army base is so he can play with some of their ordinance or if they have no base due to the constrictive and self destroying laws this country has I would say he inviting him over for a day at my house blowing stuff up." Harry smiled as Pugsley seemed to have run out of things to say and the Goblin Guard noticed them. His grin grew huge as the Goblin looked at him and spat on the floor in front of him.

Harry suddenly had a knife in his hand and was running up to the Goblin soon they were involved in a fight both using knives Harry and his kitchen knife and the goblin with what looked like a small scimitar. They carried on for some minutes before harry swung low and flicked his knife forward causing a cut just above the Goblins eye. As soon as blood started to flow both knives seemed to vanish and they hugged.

McGonagall had to look twice a goblin who only moments before had been trying to kill her student was hugging him instead. Wednesday smiled " Goblins respect money power and honesty Harry is the personification of all three, So the guard had to see if Harry would defend what was his physically as well as magically."

The Addams were led to an old but comfortable looking office and an aged Goblin hobbled in Harry smiled and " Oh hows it going look I am in a bit of a hurry so here's my key what do I need to sign and where do I sign I also want to see my parents will."

McGonagal was shocked Harry was being down right disrespectful to the Goblin. Yet the Goblin just nodded and held out some paper "Sign these and I will read your parents wills."

Harry got up and looked over each paper and with some he showed Wednesday or Pugsley he never bothered to show Professor McGonagall. He picked up a Quill looked at the old Goblin and smiled "Okay you can begin."

"Here is my last will and testament I James Potter hereby leave everything to Harry James potter Except for 100000 Galleons to Remus lupin if he can prove he is **not** with Voldemort and another 100000 to Sirius Black who wanted to be our secret keeper but in the end agreed Peter was the best choice. Sorry Padfoot it seems the rat was the traitor in the order if you are listening to this, make sure everyone gets a picture of him in his rat form unless you get the chance to kill that piece of filth. Lastly to my son Harry I also leave my title of Lord Gryffindor and and lord Potter It means you need two wives I never got the chance for my second wife as I wanted the Potter line to continue first."

McGonagall was in shock Black wasn't the secret keeper she had only one word for this "shite!"

Harry and his family continued to look over and sign documents as the Goblin continued.

"Now Remus if you are indeed on the side of light once our hiding place has been fixed as I am not letting that dark tosser get me and my wife that easily you can have the place. Harry you may wonder why you were not raised by Sirius well we love him but he is an idiot so that's why my lovely wife your mum made Minerva McGonagall your magical guardian unless she does anything stupid or unless she gives up that right."

Minerva McGonagall chose this time to think back and realise by letting the Headmaster control Harry by Taking him from Black and dumping him at that house in Surrey she had in fact gave up the right. She was not happy her and the headmaster would be having words. As unless he thought **she** could fail to raise Harry as a responsible adult, she followed that line of thought then she saw red. It was tantamount to thinking she was incompetent

Harry smiled at one form and signed it quite happily. He looked up "This guardianship form I was legally adopted by the Addams Family who are from America so."

The Goblin stopped and looked up " Yes they are your new legal magical guardians as well as your legal Parents but if your brother Pugsley dies then you will need 3 wives as you need to keep the Addams the Potter and the Gryffindor lines alive."

Harry nodded.

Professor McGonagall couldn't believe how Harry was acting she had never thought that signing forms from a Goblin was a good idea but her mind was in shock and she saw they had nearly done the whole pile before her mind kicked in she just hoped they hadn't sighed away anything important.

Harry shook his wrist and put the quill down. " All signed and witnessed" he handed the forms back to the Goblin, who looked them over and nodded.

"Would you like to go to your trust vault and get some money now Lord Potter, Gryffindor, Addams?"

Harry nodded "yes and I need some land with a forest and some sort of house or building on it I have an dislike to the British mistreatment of people who can't help themselves due to the mediocre mentality of people in charge of this country."

The Old Goblin thought for a moment then nodded " I have the ideal parcel of land and you should be able to get it for a very cheap price. Then the Goblin went to a wall and head-butted it "Sorry my Lord but you own such a bit of land. The forbidden forest is yours by right of inheritance and by right of combat. Well I think it is yours by right of combat we would need a blood test for a definitive answer."

Harry held out his hand and asked how much blood. The Goblin ran to his desk hit a button and soon a younger Goblin came in with a steaming silver cup "3 drops no make it 4 drops in here."

Harry pulled a knife from who knows where and cut himself 4 drops later the cup was smoking and giving off a funny smell when it stopped the younger Goblin pulled out a roll of parchment and spilled the liquid onto it. Harry and the others watched as name after name came from it. McGonagall fainted it was a bit hard for her to be standing in the presence to the heir of Merlin the four founders and Merlin's teacher but the high King of Atlantis was the real shocker.

The Old Goblin gulped this was not what he expected he knew Dumbledore had pulled some strings and had the Potter will sealed but now it had been asked for by the main beneficiary it had been unsealed as he had reached his 11th birthday and was now considered a wizard.

Harry nodded and made up his mind " Okay first I need an area within the forbidden forest warded so werewolves can't leave while in wolf form. Then I need some changing rooms or some such thing so they can leave their clothes and belongings in a safe place, I will need to hire a couple of healers and a few cooks. I will need to know what property's I have that need work on and to hire the were's that can do the jobs. Also I need to have a small farm started and maybe a breeding place for deer and the such so when the were's change they have something to hunt in their animal form."

The old Goblin made note of this. Professor McGonagall was shocked Harry was thinking of a way to help were's and she was just sitting there gaping like a first year seeing her first ghost. Harry got up and at the same instant so did his brother and sister. "Right suppose we need money and the deeds sorting out. Send me the info when you have the were's place sorted and the food for them in both forms sorted. Also I need the healers and the other people vetoed and I think Gomez Addams should be made the keeper of the files and that Morticia Addams should be on the board for the plant life and the healers, I want Grandma Addams to be head of the hiring and firing of the weres and job placement.... better add healers to people she should be in charge of."

Harry left the room and Professor McGonagall followed them. A young Goblin led them to Harry's trust vault and he made a substantial withdrawal. Then asked if they could take the scenic route back as they found the ride "amusing". The Goblin was only to happy too comply. Harry smiled and spoke softly into the Goblins ear the resulting grin from the Goblin had McGonagall shivering, it did not bode well for someone.

Then they left the bank. Their first stop was Knockturn Alley where the were's were waiting for them.

"Right I have jobs for some were's and also a place for you to change on the fall moon I also have food and medical staff laid on for the morning after the change... or I will have by the end of the month. Go to Gringotts show them your identity and tell them of **any** skills you have **I will** need gardeners people to help breed food for you in wolf or whatever were form you have and I need people who can build as we need changing rooms and a kitchen and a healers place for you. This will all include a wage for those working for me and meals will be laid on on-site. Any questions?"

An old looking man walked forward and cleared his throat "Why yu doing this for us?"

Harry turned his head up so he could look the old man in the face. " I have money fame and honour would you say I would make or lose money by helping the were's build and improve on my land? How will my willingness to help all species help or hinder my fame? Would my honour survive knowing I have the ways and means to help my fellow people and chose to sit on my cash like a politician sitting on his bribes."

Harry took a breath "My land will be farmed what you in animal forms do not eat will be sold the animals will need crops to feed them what they don't need will be sold. I get buildings and a place to go when I wish built by people who wish to prove they are as good as non weres so it will be built to the best standard. I will treat you well and as such I know I will have made friends." Harry smiled and his eyes lit with an inner fire.

"money can't buy friends fame can't get you friends but helping and being honest can. Money will not cover your back in a fight fame will not get you a drink or meal with pleasant chat it will only get you hanger on's and fan people. My honour is the honour of the Potters and the Addams I must be more honourable than others as it expected by people for me to be so. Where is the honour in looking down on people just because they had the misfortune to be bit. No and I say no again there is no honour in it there is no pleasure in it. If I am to crush my enemies and build a better world then I need friends not yes men I need people who know what the bottom feels like and wish to see the sun, to know that all is not dark light is here and I am that light."

McGonagall, shivered the way Harry spoke reminded her to much of other people who said they had others best interest at heart like Hitler,Grindoworld, And most recently one Tom Riddle. She if she had ever seen Gomez Addams go on one of his rants would have seen the very same style and passion in his way of speaking.

Harry then led his family and McGonagall, down Knockturn and to the shops that he had seen things they wanted in. It was a pleasant surprise for the Professor but she was disturbed to see the splinched mugger was still screaming for help. A helpful hag pointed out that an Addams had cursed the bloke so unless he was found by an Auror no one was going to undo an Addams reprisal in-case they became the recipients for the Addams family's revenge.

The rest of the trip was boring until Ollivander's when Pugsley and Wednesday saw him they broke into grins and started to dance with him " Cousin Olly why didn't you come to the feast last year we missed you"

Professor McGonagall, stared at a smiling happy Wednesday as she hugged **yes** hugged a person and that person was still alive.

"Well Weds hun I had a lot of work on and I need to find an apprentice so I can find more time for my family so what you three doing this side of the ocean?"

"We are now attending Hogwarts it seems a right mess with incompetent teachers Deatheater's and all sorts of rubbish around but we hope to be able call it presentable by the end of the year as Harry here owns it. So we might call some the family in to update and make the place at least come into the 20th century instead of the 18th ."

McGonagall, stared at Wednesday she had never heard her say so much or seem happy admittedly she had only seen them for a few days but she trusted her first impressions now she found out they were all wrong. Well except the one about not wanting to annoy an Addams. That one was very very well reinforced she just hoped the Headmaster and Snape would not do anything stupid.

This is posted as not updated this story in a while so hope you like I am not abandoning any my stories just lot on in the real world at the moment.


	5. Chapter 5

I own nothing so you can't have anything. JK Rowling and the people who invented the Addams family own their stuff, I made the rest up.

Hope you enjoy as my invisible friend and I are trying to come up with new ways to give Dumbledore pain. (Don't listen to him, we're nice people.)

**Addams at Hogwarts part 5**

Minerva was confused as her brain caught up with what had been said. Not the fact that Wednesday was happy, but that Harry owned Hogwarts. How the hell could he own Hogwarts? And if he did, just how secure was anybody's job? Tired and confused, Minerva led them back to the hallowed gates of Hogwarts.

**Present **

Minerva suddenly shuddered. That last bit from the day before Harry owned Hogwarts, and they had let his sister be bullied Oh god, oh god, oh god. She felt a migraine coming on and suddenly decided to floo Poppy for a potion; this was not going to be a day for happy memories.

Snape was fuming. That brat, that scum, that, that Words failed him. Not even Potter's miserable father and his scum friends had ever made Snape this mad. He couldn't look at his wand without feeling sick; he would have to have a new one made, and this one was going in the fire. Potter would pay. Oh yes, he would certainly pay.

Albus Dumbledore, leader of the Light, could not believe that his wand no longer worked for him. Simple charms were okay, but transfiguration and that? Nothing. He had never thought he would be disarmed, and then to have the wand He shuddered. The wand now considered Potter its rightful owner... He would have to get Potter to fight with the wand, then defeat him and reclaim it. He started to plot.

He shouldn't have, but as with many things Dumbledore had done that he shouldn't have, the knowledge didn't stop him.

Harry and his sister paced back and forth before a wall; the only decoration was a man trying to teach trolls to dance. The man seemed to be a lot less happy than the trolls, who waited until he wasn't looking to do pirouettes and other ballet moves. As soon as he turned back, they would start to hit each other with clubs or their shoes. As the door to the Room of Requirement appeared on Harry's third pass, Harry allowed himself a small smile. "So, Weds, you ready to become a Parselmouth?"

She just smiled her mysterious smile and made her way straight to Ravenclaw's tiara, ignoring all the other junk lying around. She smiled at the bust of the women wearing the tiara; picking it up, she looked Harry in the eyes and placed it upon her head.

The Riddle Horcrux in the tiara made a mistake when it decided that this magical person (even if it was only a girl) would be its new host; it would move onto a suitable male host later, if possible. Riddle's first inkling that this would not happen came when he saw an older version of himself strapped to a rack screaming, begging, pleading. The two Riddles locked eyes and in a moment of lucidity, the older one screamed: "Run! For all that is holy, run!"

The younger Riddle never had a chance. A small girl appeared behind him and quite happily smashed the back of his knees with a bat. It seemed as if the pain would never stop; a dark haired boy had appeared next, going over to the older Riddle. "So now, my dear Wednesday will be a Parselmouth, and together we can get the Basilisk out and have some fun."

Riddle tried to work out what they were on about, but he suddenly found himself on a rack next to himself as the scary voice of the little demon (he refused to think of her as human) spoke up. "Now, Harry, my Riddle has a long way to go to make up for attacking the family. I think we should do a duet in screams until we can have a choir of them."

They stretched the rack, poked red hot pokers placed in some normal placesâ€"like armpitsâ€"and some not so normal, and caused some very sore throats (screaming and lots of it). As the Addams siblings drank a cool, refreshing drink, they looked at the two nearly dead (wishing they were dead) Toms.

"So, Wednesday, Tom and I shall leave you and Tom to get acquainted on a more personal level."

The older Riddle looked at his younger self as he felt himself being dragged from Mistress Wednesday's mind. (He never made the mistake of calling her Mudblood, Halfblood, little sow, or any other derogative names after his first go. She and her family had not been kind to him and he just knew that no-one should have their fingers and toes pulled off, or that certain "male only" body parts should be cooked while still attached.) He prayed his younger self could gain control and maybe end both their existences, because if he got free and hurt Mistress Wednesday, they would both pay.

Wednesday smiled. "Now, Tom, let's share some ideas and some gifts. You give me the Parselmouth ability and the knowledge you have of magic, and I'll give you the gift of unconsciousness and the knowledge that my family and I often like to share things like torture and the giving of pain."

**The Same Time in Holloway Prison **

Marge and Petunia Dursley looked around their little cell. They were a far cry from what they had been just a year ago; Marge was quite a bit slimmer and had a gang tattoo on her shoulder. Petunia also had a gang tattoo on her chest, and others on her shoulder and her legs. They were not well liked and both had been passed around from gang to gang. Marge was not passed around so much as she was only used as the local slop bucket emptier and some of the more butch women like to entertain themselves by using her as a human punching bag. Or, if she was lucky, she was used as their toy.

Petunia still was skinny and her stomach could often be heard rumbling. When the inmates had heard how she had starved a child, they decided to give her a long list of chores from helping to empty the slop buckets to sweeping and mopping all the floors in all the wings, and unless she had done all that by dinnertime, she went hungry. She got her food every dinnertime, but sadly, it seemed she was clumsy and didn't notice the gang members' feet sticking out until she tripped over them. She was not used as a toy, but she was used as a furniture. She would be tied into a certain position and used as a chair or a table (that hurt, as they made her get into the crab position then tied brooms to her hands and feet so she was stuck at one height and unable to stretch or do anything but have hot coffee placed on her stomach).

She was really glad she only had 5 years left in her 8-year sentence. If she had gotten a 20-year sentence like Vernon, she would have chewed her wrists if she couldn't find anything to slit them with. As the two of them got into their bunks and pulled the sheets over themselves (someone kept taking their mattresses and blankets, so they had to cocoon themselves in the thin sheets they were allowed to keep to keep from feeling the bed slats digging into their skin or the cold so much), they drifted off; they started to dream well, relive the nightmare of what had caused this fall from grace.

**The Dream Sequence**

Marge Dursley looked around at her expensive surroundings happily. Her brother and his wife had treated themselves and her to a small cruise, thankfully leaving the freak behind. Marge smiled as judge Neville Normanmeyers sat beside her. He was a small man with a strong American accent and a habit of laughing for no reason. He seemed to favour sports jackets, flannel trousers, and Shirley Temples. The main thing that made Marge like him was that he smelt of money; a judge should be well paid, and most had a lot of money on the side.

"So Marge, you have any other relatives at home?" asked the judge, silently hoping that this magnificent women was single and not in a relationship. Marge smiled and then frowned.

"My sister-in-law has a freak nephew living with her; his parents were drunken slobs and died in a car accident, as far as I know. Thank god they only killed themselves and not some poor, innocent bystander."

Judge Normanmeyers lifted an eyebrow. "A freak?"

Marge sighed. "Yes, he's always in trouble, he can never be bothered to smarten himself up, and he steals."

She failed to mention he was only given secondhand, worn out clothes of Dudley's, so it was impossible for him to be smartly dressed, and she failed to mention he stole food because her brother damn well near starved him, but as these were little details, she decided they were unimportant.

The Judge nodded. "My brother Norman has a similar problem with the people over the road from him, the Addams Family. They call themselves that, but degenerates and misfits are what normal people call them, and I have seen them for myself; I think the label 'freaks' could well be applied to them."

It was the beginning of the road to freedom for one freaky little orphan known as freak, boy, and to some, Harry Potter.

The Judge and Marge had spent the day talking about freaks and other such things, and most importantly to Marge, it seemed that they both were single.

Vernon was shocked when Marge told him her friend the Judge's brother had freaks living opposite him in America. He wondered if they could load off their freak onto them. Petunia was against it but wouldn't say why, but with Marge and Vernon and her precious Dudley against her, she soon caved in. It would have been better for all of them to have never mentioned the freak and even better for them to have treated him like a human being instead of a cleaning implement like a mop and bucket (brought out to do cleaning, then locked in a cupboard under stairs when not in use).

After a little chat with Neville, Marge got his brother Norman's phone number and soon had an Addams on the line. The chat had gone well and the freak on the other end snapped up the chance to have the boy in his family. They explained how he would have to wait until they came back from their holiday until they could sign all the papers and get rid of the child, but then 13 days was not long. (No one noticed when the judge overheard some of the conversation and, rethinking some of his conversation with Marge, came to some disturbing conclusions.)

The rest of the holiday had been great, from the Dursleys' point of view, and soon they were on their way home to getting rid of the freak. Then came the big day. They sat there as a hired car turned up. (Marge and Petunia took turns looking through the curtains.) Their first instincts screamed freaks, as only one of the 3 males had on anything that could be considered normal clothing; the fat, bald one was in a monk's habit while the other was tall with slicked back hair, wearing a suit. If he had stopped at the suit, it would have been fine, but he had a large polka-dotted hanky in the suit pocket; while it might have been stylish in black or silver, it was magenta, and his shoes were bright red. It was lucky Petunia had warned them that the freaks, they should remember from growing up, had no dress sense at all.

The last man looked respectable and seemed to have a certain familiarity about him. It was all over in minutes once they came in: The papers were signed, hands shook, and cigars lit. The normal-looking one was apparently there as a witness and after he signed, they noticed he had the same last name as the judge. A quick question later, they found out he was the brother who had the Addams as neighbours; they also found out that the Addams had treated him to a short holiday in England for setting this up, though the Addams and their newest son were going home on the return flight. It had been while the freak was getting his stuff that Petunia had noticed a scowl on the man's face, but it had gone by too fast for her to be sure.

The idiot boy had left some of his schoolwork in his cupboard and ran to get it when Gomez asked if he had everything. Petunia hoped that no one noticed the lived-in look of the freak's bedroomâ€"of the broom closet; it was a vain hope, it seemed. When Gomez had asked why his stuff was in there, the freak, seeing it as a chance to get back at them, told him and Norman that it was his bedroom. That was where he slept and kept his stuff before his new daddy came for him. They had all left and the Dursleys hoped it would be taken as a child's joke. It hadn't, it seemed; Norman's brother, who had also came to England, asked him to look around. It was only days later that they were arrested and sent to jail, awaiting a trial.

The fact that she and Marge Vernon were in jail, and Dudley was in borstal, shows how the trial went.

**From the Addams' Point of View, Same Day**

Gomez sat with his brother and sighed at the monotonous scenery; each house was the same, each garden was the same, and even the same cars seemed to sit in the drives. "Gomez, old boy, I think we're rescuing the poor child none too soon; this is like a nightmare! Don't they have individual ideas or thoughts down this road?"

Gomez could only shake his head. "I think not, brother dear; I think they're clones." Even Norman, who liked everything in its place, had to agree that this place was depressing in its tedium, though he did refrain from saying so out loud. When the Dursleys opened the door to them, he had seen a look of disgust as they took in Gomez and Fester Addams. He had been shocked at the speed they used to get rid of the pale, skinny child who stood in the hallway; Gomez had nothing against either trait, but on this child, they screamed neglect. He also spotted a scar on the child's head and wondered if he had gotten it from an accident or from Vernon. When he had asked his new son Harry if he had everything, he was amazed at how a child of 7 could have packed everything he owned in two plastic shopping bags.

After the child had checked the bags, he made his way to the little closet under the stairs with a smile. "Forgot my school work!"

Gomez could smell the blood in that tiny space; he could feel the hunger and despair as the door opened, so he asked: "Why is your stuff in there? Is it so it was ready to go?"

Harry shook his head and looked right at him. Without a flicker, he said: "No, it's my room. My bedroom."

It had been lucky Norman was there, or the Addams brothers would have tortured and killed the Dursleys, but Norman, having seen Gomez explode in rage (carol singers never went to the Addams after that night), quickly led them out, saying something about the Addams' flight.

As soon as they left, for the first time he could ever remember, he agreed with Gomez Addams. "They are scum to keep a child in a cupboard; did you see the blood on the walls? I could feel the pain coming from that cupboard. They need to be punished." Norman looked at Gomez. "I'll tell my brother; he suspected something and now we need to move fast before they get rid of the evidence. I'm staying here for the week; I'll give you a call when I hear more. Now, calm down before you scare your new son."

It had been the right thing to say; Gomez went and hugged his newest family member.

**A Few Hours Earlier**

When Gomez Addams woke up that morning, after he kissing his wife, having a wash, and deciding on his clothes, he did what he considered his most important duty: He went to see his children. He smiled as Pugsley put his head in the Guillotine and Wednesday pulled the string; he laughed at her sulking when it only went half way down and Pugsley pulling his head out, running off with a laugh. He comforted his daughter and told her that one day, she would not need any imperfect instruments as she would be a grown-up Addams like her mother. Morticia never ever needed anything to make a grown person quiver in fear or to remove her foes. Then he went to see his son to compliment him on a narrow escape and for keeping one step ahead of his sister by sticking a bit of wood into the runner. He did hope his son had a backup in place; the same thing wouldn't work twice on Wednesday.

Then came the knock at the door and the call from Lurch to let him know Norman was here, ready for their flight. Gomez promised His little angel of death (Wednesday) that if he had time, he would get her a raven from the tower. He told them to make sure everything was ready for their new brother, kissed his wife, hugged his mother, and left for the plane. He knew his life and his family's lives would change; life always did with new children. He just never could guess how much.

**Present Day Hogwarts**

Harry smiled as he walked away from the Room of Requirements, making his way to the kitchens. He had to have a talk with the elves about his and his siblings' food needs; the rubbish served here offered nothing to a person who got off his butt and did something productive. He began to laugh a chilling, cold laugh. Oh, Riddle would regret killing his blood family.

Well, that's a update; hope it's okay. So until next time, bye. Thanks to Beta Lanie McCoy

and her brilliant work.


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